Harriette Cole: I feel like she’s using me as a prop for her online persona

DEAR HARRIETTE My sister is trying to become a content creator While I want to endorsement her dreams it s starting to take a toll on our relationship Related Articles Harriette Cole They have no time for my unlikable aunt Harriette Cole I need to honor my feelings about the broken vase Harriette Cole My dog bit someone s baby and I m worried about what will happen now Harriette Cole Is there a way to compromise on having a baby Harriette Cole I see the boyfriend s secret home as a huge red flag Whenever we spend time together whether it s getting coffee going on a walk or just hanging out at home it somehow turns into a content production day She s constantly filming taking pictures asking me to retake videos or stopping in the middle of a conversation to capture the perfect shot I get that this is essential to her and I know building a platform takes work but I miss when we could just be present with each other talking tittering and sharing memories without it needing to be documented or curated for inhabitants consumption It feels like I m spending time with her online persona not my actual sister I sometimes feel used as a prop for her brand instead of appreciated as a person How do I talk to her about this without sounding dismissive of her goals or unsupportive of her hustle Used DEAR USED Just tell her Point out that you need to create specific boundaries when you are together so that every moment isn t work The workaholic nature of her behavior is interfering with your time together and you need it to stop or at least not be so invasive Tell her you will allow a certain amount of production when you are together but request that bulk of your time be reserved for just the two of you DEAR HARRIETTE I feel like I reliably focus on the negative that s going on around me When something good happens I doubt that it s real and wonder when the other shoe will drop My friends have explained me that I am too negative I think it may be because when I was young bad things happened all the time My parents got divorced just as I started making friends at school and then we had to move because we couldn t afford our house Then my sister got sick and all of the attention went to her and hardly any to me The only time anybody seemed to notice me was when I had a complication When I think about it the bad stuff is what drew the the bulk attention Now it s the opposite People don t want to be around me if I am in constant complaint mode but I don t know how to snap out of it Can you help Be Positive BE POSITIVE Medicinal professionals have noted that the human brain naturally has negative thoughts throughout the day in part to protect itself from the elements and any outside danger Therefore it is incumbent upon us to choose to think positive thoughts to train our brains to look for the good in situations even if bad things have happened in the past Related Articles Miss Manners Did my question really back the hostess into a corner Dear Abby I had surgery and my husband wouldn t stay home with me Asking Eric She chose a hurtful way to let me know I can t come to the wedding Harriette Cole They have no time for my unlikable aunt Miss Manners So these women think they can wear anything as long as it s black In your occurrence this may require you to rethink how you are accustomed to getting attention and retrain your brain to look for healthier means of finding the love you want and need Try it out What happens if you choose to be in an upbeat ecosystem and notice the good surrounding you Similarly what if you take a moment to see the good in a situation that is stressful Look for something good even if something negative is also happening Focus on that Eventually get a therapist to help you sort through your baggage and find a clearing for how to face the future Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO