Miss Manners: Can I weigh in on a woman’s clownish makeup?

DEAR MISS MANNERS I ve noticed that selected mature women do not change how they apply makeup as they get older which makes their maturing features begin to look well clownlike Related Articles Miss Manners I let my child pick her party guests and she picked wrong Miss Manners I yelled at the people on the bus It did not feel great Miss Manners I was informed I was rude for putting the hostess in this position Miss Manners So these women think they can wear anything as long as it s black Miss Manners How do I tell them I m not as rich as they think For instance their lipstick may be too dark for their skin tone and may be applied beyond the natural vermilion line in an effort to give the lips a fuller appearance instead looking like the exaggerated mouth of a clown Ditto for pale eyeshadow applied over the entire lid which appears even more like clown eyes when a dark and often uneven eyeliner is applied This makeup scheme is made starker by either the absence of balancing color to the cheeks and eyes or the inclusion of clownlike rouge patches on each cheek Should one make any suggestions as to updating this unflattering makeup And if so how GENTLE READER What did clowns ever do to you Never mind Miss Manners is wary of clowns too She would never once compare a mature woman to them Let alone do so four times Unless you are a trusted friend who was specifically requested or a makeup artist still specifically sought there is no polite way to tell someone that her makeup is garish You may however give subtle recommendations of products that work for you I just identified this makeup crayon in a flattering shade It works so much better than a pencil which I find to be too stark But you better be sure it works for you DEAR MISS MANNERS A insufficient years back my octogenarian husband severed relations with a longtime friend and colleague who is outspoken about his bigoted religion-based views My husband let this person know why he was offended and the friend pushed back The person and his wife have now made several overtures toward reconciling with us While my husband is able to compartmentalize he knows that I prefer to keep these folks out of our lives and he honors my views My husband may not be around much longer and he is a person who likes making peace Even if he doesn t reconcile while he s still around I know the bigot ex-friend is a staunch reader of obituaries and will show up at whatever memorial arrangement is held How should I respond GENTLE READER Thank you for coming DEAR MISS MANNERS Sometimes I get a thinking-of-you greeting card or something similar out of the blue from a friend I feel like the mannerly thing to do now that there s text and email is to send a quick note thanking them for thinking of me or remarking on the beauty of the card and sentiment Related Articles Dear Abby The men I want to date vanish as soon as I tell them the truth Asking Eric The cheating husband begged to be our friend again Harriette Cole I thought we were talking as friends He tried to bill me Miss Manners I let my child pick her party guests and she picked wrong Dear Abby A false accusation destroyed our friendship Should I give it a second chance My friend thinks it s OK to just receive the card and not send a response What say you GENTLE READER Nothing says thank you for thinking of me like perfectly ignoring the person right back The mannerly thing to do would be to respond in kind Miss Manners prefers handwritten correspondence but she will take what she can get Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO