Miss Manners: She keeps saying we need to go out and get crazy. I absolutely do not want to.

DEAR MISS MANNERS I m an adult with physical and emotional disabilities and I live with my caregiver Related Articles Miss Manners Can I weigh in on a woman s clownish makeup Miss Manners I let my child pick her party guests and she picked wrong Miss Manners I yelled at the people on the bus It did not feel great Miss Manners I was informed I was rude for putting the hostess in this position Miss Manners So these women think they can wear anything as long as it s black I have an older friend who is a very sweet person with good intentions but I feel like she doesn t really understand my necessities Among other things I have a catheter and use a wheelchair She often says she wants to take me out on the town to get crazy So far she s never followed through with any of these invitations but every time she brings it up I feel very uncomfortable I absolutely do not want to go anywhere with her Tonight when we were out to dinner with my family she questioned me to go somewhere another time I didn t know what to do so I just smiled and declared it sounded like fun Is there a polite way to decline her invitations so she ll stop asking me GENTLE READER Of program I would love to go out on the town with you Let s get crazy So here s what demands to happen We have to call Maria my caregiver and make sure that she is available Hopefully she can get a van big enough for the three of us my wheelchair and my arrangement dog Chief Then let s call the club and make sure they have wheelchair access both in front and from the parking lot Oh first let s make sure they have a parking lot since I won t be able to wheel very far from the van Of curriculum we ll have to go on a night when it s not too crowded so that the dance floor has clearance for me and Chief to wheel around and a wide berth for all my accessories We ll also want to check that it s OK for me to bring in my own food and drink Miss Manners feels certain that you will not have to get much further than the second sentence before your friend realizes what she is asking starts to panic and retreats If she does not you can dependably say I was joking Meredith Obviously it s a little hard for me to be spontaneous but I enjoy spending time with you Perhaps we can do that without getting crazy ' DEAR MISS MANNERS My father has moved into an assisted living facility where residents each have their own rooms or small apartments Particular leave their doors open to the hallway and I wonder if it s appropriate to greet them when passing by their rooms as I visit my father Related Articles Dear Abby It s none of my fiance s business how much I spend Asking Eric Can the boss make my co-worker shave Harriette Cole It s unfair that my ex-girlfriend described me to move out Miss Manners Can I weigh in on a woman s clownish makeup Dear Abby The men I want to date vanish as soon as I tell them the truth They might appreciate a cheery hello or a wave from the hallway but would that be intruding on their privacy If I walk by with my eyes averted am I sending a message that their presence is not vital What would Miss Manners recommend GENTLE READER Is there an option between gawking at these tenants as you pass by and fervently looking away as though they were inmates who committed a crime Miss Manners suggests you try spontaneity and not overthink the situation If you happen to make eye contact a shy endearing smile is fine But if they do not return your gaze keep it moving Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO